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英语搞笑话剧剧本:三笑三国


作者:佚名  剧本来源:网络  更新时间:2015/7/27  Www.XiaoCaoWang.Com - [设为首页]  [加入收藏]

英语搞笑话剧剧本:三笑三国

开场介绍:  Ladies and gentlemen,let me introduct  the actor. The first is zhaoyun,he is the most actor tonight.and his black brother zhangfei ,and there boss liubei .don't forgot the other side Mr cao,and his adviser JiangGan,and the most strong XiaHou Dun.At last,don't forget who behind the scenes ME----the Director.

 

 第一幕:人物,赵云 夏侯惇 曹操 蒋干 

  旁白:就在刚才不久,一个黑大汉从曹操军中救出刘备之子刘阿斗,现在正向这里杀过来,他就是张飞!!!(赵云出场)Not too long ago,a black general saved the son of LiuBei ,Liu A dou.now,he is coming. His name is Zhangfei.

  

   赵云:no!本人姓赵名云,乃常山子龙也! no! my  family name is zhao my middle name is yun and my given name  is zilong ~

   (赵云从背后拿出一坨布,代表阿斗)

    赵云:看!这就是主公的最后一点骨血!刘阿斗!我从火场之中把他救出,而我自己的脸却早已……唉……化作焦炭!(顾影自怜状)look!  this is the last blood of the boss ! liu  e dou . i took him out from the fire ,but my face hane already ...ai ~.

   (夏侯敦挺着枪呈猫腰状杀出)

  夏侯敦:小贼,莫跑,要不然我就大开杀戒了(冲到) Children stop there or i will kill you

   (赵云左手抱阿斗,右手与之搏斗)

   赵云:可恶!居然敢偷袭我!fuck,!!    you bitch dare to attack me ??

   (二人装腔作势打斗数招)

   赵云:看我九阴白骨爪!!stop!!  wait!!! one two three... nine  dark white bone fingers!!

   夏侯敦:唔!(倒地) oh  my gad   i'm  over

   赵云:此地不宜久留,还是快去寻主公!(下)yeah~ bitch i will go to look for my boss ,  goodbye~

  (曹操、蒋干二人上)

    曹操:没想到我们初次出兵便杀得敌人望风而逃!真可谓出师未捷身先死。长使英雄泪满襟!   I didn't expect that we can beat the enemy with our first attack.

It reminds me of a poem, "Dead Before the Ship Even Sank. Long the hero Tearful"

    蒋干:丞相,您说这话,真不见得怎么吉利。 Prime minister,It does not sound good about what you have said;

  (曹操险些被地上的夏侯敦绊倒)

   曹操:咦?这是谁扔的西瓜皮?(转身,看见倒在地上的夏侯敦)Huh? Who threw the banana rind?

   曹操:是夏侯爱卿。难道他又在搞什么行为艺术??Do not Xiahou Dun?

Is he engaged in what is called performance art?

  (蒋干上前将夏侯敦一顿拍打,二人站起)

   曹操:夏侯爱卿为何要在地上装西瓜皮??Why do you want to install banana rind on the ground?

   夏侯敦:有一人脸如黑炭 手抱孩子there is a very black people witha baby in his band

   蒋干:是敌人的保姆!还带个孩子!!!it Is enemy's maid with a child in his arm.

   曹操:那你呢?What did you do?

  夏侯敦:i  i  i……  i rushed to him and fight with him   i'mfightting  fightting fightting  我…… 我冲上去与之打斗 打  打 打            

  曹操:然后呢?What then? 

  蒋干:丞相,看来是夏侯将军杀退了敌人! Prime minister, it is likely that  general Xiahou  has defeated the enemy

  夏侯敦:唔唔!(手势如下:指指门外,右手作“九”的样子,随即作全身发冷状,然后指向自己的衣服,再指向曹操,作爪击状)

   曹操:然后呢?  Then what happened? 

    夏侯敦:no no no I was defeated he used the nine cloud white bone finger  ,it's so terrible

  (曹操、蒋干二人将夏侯敦拉起)

    曹操:如此看来,敌人应该还没有走远。咱们乘胜追击!(慷慨状)It seems that the enemy should not go far. Let's run after them.

   蒋干:有时候我真的很佩服丞相您这乐观的心理……(赞同状) Sometimes I really admires prime minister very much about your  optimistic psychology ......

   夏侯敦:唔!唔唔唔~!(抡起两拳,作欲与敌人搏斗状)

    

 

(三人下)

第二幕:人物:刘备 张飞  诸葛亮  赵云

  (刘备、张飞、诸葛亮三人上)

旁白:这是的刘备一行人正在军营外观看敌情~~~LiuBei and his team are looking something out of his military camp.  

(诸葛亮走在前面,张飞、刘备二人紧跟其后)

    诸葛亮:(转头)主公啊,按理说是您走先啦!(恭敬状)old liu ah,you should walk in front of us! Is not it?

刘备:不啦,军师您身后有好大块荫凉,躲在这里避避暑也不错。Noit's very cool that I stand just behind youI can avoid summer heat

 诸葛亮:(眺望状)主公,如果我所料不错,现在马上就要下雨了!liu ah,come here! I tell you a secret! I think it is about to rain!

     刘备:先生神算!人所不及!不知先生如何知道将要下雨?great predictionNo one can compare with youjust wonder how do you know it's going to rain

     诸葛亮:首先,天气预报说今天有雨;其次,(以手指前方)看天,那边有一块黑云来了!First,the weather report told us it is going to rain today;second,look at the sky,so many dark clouds are coming!

   (赵云上)

    张飞:哇!那就是子龙啊,想不到这一会不见子龙就换了个新桌面啊!Ha! That is person who called long ah, I could not believe  that you have changd  a new tabletop without a minute!

  (张飞迎上)

    张飞:子龙!  long

    赵云:翼德救我! help!!!  brother  three.

   (张飞下)

    赵云:主公!云殊死力战,方保得小主人在此!只是这许久不见啼哭,怕是已经……(悲愤状,取出布包,打开并捧着) boss,  i have trid my best to protect the little boss. but it have a  long time to hear nothing. i am afraid...

    赵云:kao!这小没良心的,居然还能睡的着!就跟他爹一样!!  oh ~ shit.how can the son of bitch get in asleep.just like his father

    刘备:咳咳!

(赵云转身面向刘备)

   诸葛亮:子龙,不是我说你,你嘴上就是少个把门儿的,总不能啥实话都往外说啊!?Zilong,not I tell you, although it is true,you should not say it out!

(刘备怒视诸葛亮,诸葛亮恍如不知,赵云上前,将阿斗递给刘备,刘备捧着阿斗)

   刘备:为了你这倒楣孩子,几乎损我一员大将啊!我还留着你赶什么啊,我摔死你吧!!because of youI almost lose a brave generalWhy do I keep you alivelet me kill you!!(阿斗摔下)

(赵云上前,对准阿斗狂踹数脚,诸葛亮上前拉住,赵云始终作势欲踢,诸葛亮用身体压住赵云后,走上前去一脚将阿斗踢飞)

    旁白:从今以后,阿斗的智力便出现了明显的发育迟缓……This is why liu a dou is so foolish that lost his country.

    赵云:咦?怎么不见关二哥呢?  yi ~~  where  is  brothe two  GuanYu?

    刘备:二弟昨天为军师摆下一个八卦阵去,不过在冲出去撞马的时候闪着腰了,现在还在休养呢!:He layout the BaGuaZhen for military adviser yesterday, but when he rushed out , he get  his waist twisted, now he stay in bed.

诸葛亮:哎,太糟糕了,看我,多健康,多健壮!告诉他,多喝三鹿奶粉!(自恋状)!Oh,It is so bad! Look at me,so healthy,so strong!tell him to drink more sanlu milk powder!

  赵云:就给这孩子喝成这样儿了!!!(走上前,抚摸诸葛亮,做怜惜状)  so you  drink to be a foolish?

    曹操(在台下):啊~!!!(惨烈地)

刘备:难道三弟又重操旧业了?咱们快去看看!Did zhangfei return to one's former career Go to see what happen?

(三人下)

 

 

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